Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
