Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
50% drunk capacity currently
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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