If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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