Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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