I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
