...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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