i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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