The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
birth control should be required to get into college
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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