Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
