I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
BRING THE BAGELS
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
