After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
