I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
