My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
