I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
