HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Houston, we have a blender
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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