I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I wear drunk well.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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