People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
