So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
