You don't have asthma, your pregnant
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
