I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
