Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
