I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
