Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize