moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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