Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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