can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
