Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
