i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
