you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize