Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
