Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
