Christians are straight up FREAKS
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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