he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize