She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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