What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
