Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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