I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
