Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Randomize
