my vag is so smooth its legendary
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
