I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
