No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize