took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
