Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize