My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
