Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
