My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm bleeding and have questions
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
