I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
