Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
