The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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