I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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