Is it normal to miss your booty call?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize