I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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