A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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