I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
