I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
