I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
