do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
