nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
