I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
