I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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