I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
