wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
